eight
I idly scuffed the dirt at my feet as the music from my headphones stabbed at my ears like nostalgic knife sets. I thought of her as I knew she didn’t think of me, not now.
I should live in salt for leaving you.
I kicked the dirt some more. Yeah, you should.
I stood up to leave, and then I saw him.
nine
His name was Rob, that much I knew. We’d been talking for over an hour. Well, I had. His mysterious, affable silence seemed somehow responsible for my almost involuntary ranting. I told him about her. He smiled in a way which made me feel as though he already knew. As though the hurt was scored into the lines on my forehead he’d read like a palm. That the downtown of my lips told him as much as the words that left them.
ten
He reached for my hand, and I held it.
This is insane. I met him, like, two hours ago. He’s a... guy.
I hadn’t been attracted to a guy since I was a teenager. I surveyed him. Long gangling limbs. Narrow hips. The slight hint of roughness on his face belying a masculinity that was lost in the softness in his eyes.
We walked through the village of Edwinstowe where my parents lived. It was late now, the trees cast spindly shadows over the last of the evening light.
eleven
We walked to the woods.
He knew about nature. We lay in the grass and I listened as he told me about the trees and the plants, and how he hunted for rabbits and pheasants. His diction was old fashioned. I couldn’t place him in the world I knew, the one outside of tonight, and this forest.
twelve
I fell asleep with my head resting on his shoulder. I knew he wasn’t sleeping, he remained alert. My sentry.
one
I awoke to found him gone. I jumped up, and looked around frantically. I heard hushed voices behind me, I turned to see Rob taking a small package from a colossal, warrior-like man, who towered over him. They shook hands and Rob shoved the package inside his jacket as he made his way back towards me.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“John,” he replied. Then, seeing my raised eyebrows, “I have something to tell you.”
I idly scuffed the dirt at my feet as the music from my headphones stabbed at my ears like nostalgic knife sets. I thought of her as I knew she didn’t think of me, not now.
I should live in salt for leaving you.
I kicked the dirt some more. Yeah, you should.
I stood up to leave, and then I saw him.
nine
His name was Rob, that much I knew. We’d been talking for over an hour. Well, I had. His mysterious, affable silence seemed somehow responsible for my almost involuntary ranting. I told him about her. He smiled in a way which made me feel as though he already knew. As though the hurt was scored into the lines on my forehead he’d read like a palm. That the downtown of my lips told him as much as the words that left them.
ten
He reached for my hand, and I held it.
This is insane. I met him, like, two hours ago. He’s a... guy.
I hadn’t been attracted to a guy since I was a teenager. I surveyed him. Long gangling limbs. Narrow hips. The slight hint of roughness on his face belying a masculinity that was lost in the softness in his eyes.
We walked through the village of Edwinstowe where my parents lived. It was late now, the trees cast spindly shadows over the last of the evening light.
eleven
We walked to the woods.
He knew about nature. We lay in the grass and I listened as he told me about the trees and the plants, and how he hunted for rabbits and pheasants. His diction was old fashioned. I couldn’t place him in the world I knew, the one outside of tonight, and this forest.
twelve
I fell asleep with my head resting on his shoulder. I knew he wasn’t sleeping, he remained alert. My sentry.
one
I awoke to found him gone. I jumped up, and looked around frantically. I heard hushed voices behind me, I turned to see Rob taking a small package from a colossal, warrior-like man, who towered over him. They shook hands and Rob shoved the package inside his jacket as he made his way back towards me.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“John,” he replied. Then, seeing my raised eyebrows, “I have something to tell you.”